Poodles are Real Dogs

It's early morning.  We are rushing to get into work for an early meeting.  I am in the shower.  I start to shampoo my hair.  "What is that smell?" I ask as I peer nearsightedly at the shower floor.

Jeff walks in.  "What?"
"Do you smell that?"
"What?" (I told you it was early.)
"Do you smell something awful?"
"Did you step in poop?" he asks. 

How, I wonder, can I have stepped in poop halfway through my shower?  It is not like I smelled this when I first got in the shower.  I know I did not do this myself, so how would I have gotten poop in the shower.  Regardless, I dutifully peer at the floor again.

"How would poop get in the shower?  There's no poop in here.  Don't you smell that?"
"All I smell are flowers." (My shampoo I hope.)
"Close the door!  One of the dogs must have a cling-on."
"Huh?"
"Close the door!  Don't let Chester out!  Close the door!" I begin to shriek.

Jeff walks out of the bathroom preceded by both Chester and Marvin.  Argh!  Now I will have to chase them down when I finish my shower.  Gidgett as befits a princess has not moved from her spot on the bathroom rug.  Gidgett never gets cling-ons.

"Do they have cling-ons?"
"I didn't look." Jeff replies.
Husbands are useless I think as I shout "Look at them.  Smell their butts.  It stinks in here."
No answer.
"Did you figure out which one it is?"
"I didn't look at them."
"Smell them."
"I am getting dressed."

Wonderful, I think.  They are running all over with heaven only knows what on them and I am going to have to clean them and it up.  I grab a towel.  I dry off.  The bathroom still reeks.

As start out past Gidgett I glance down at her.  My perfect princess has poop down the side of her face, in her long flowing ears, and ground into her shoulders.  I gag as I pick her up, toss on a robe, and stumble out to the dog wash sink.

All I can think as I scrub Gidgett down is how people people think poodles are fou-fou dogs.  Nope!  Even poodle princesses like to roll in poop.

Ice Cream Disaster

How many people know that two quarts of strawberry ice cream when dropped straight down from about a four foot height will not only make a large mess on the floor, but will also cover the ceiling, walls, etc. with pink goo?  It is truly impressive! 

Jeff will never again attempt to transfer the chilled ice cream from the refrigerator to the ice cream churn.

Border Collies

Only a border collie could be this obsessed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8DiOthAKek

Teleporting Poodles

This weekend Gidgett and Marvin showed off their skills at teleporting.  We went to a friend's house.  She happens to have a dog which out weighs me.  When she let him in, two of the poos disappeared.  If they had not a trail of a leashes leading to them, I would not have know where they had gone.  It was amazing.  I did not know they could fit under the couch, let alone scoot backywards to get there so fast that no one saw them move.  :-)

Gidgett

Gidgett made the paper! While it is not for a good thing, hopefully the article helps some else and Gidgett is fine now.

http://www.gainesville.com/article/20110316/ARTICLES/110319539

Cooking Comment

I do not eat eggs which are not well hidden in a cake. Hence I do not cook them very often. Recently I have been practicing my cooking skills with eggs. The poo pack is generally the recipients of the fruits of my labors. What does it say about how far I have come, when this morning I placed what I thought were nice omelets in front of each of the dogs with the following results:

Marvin dug in. Marvin will eat most anything.

Chester ran into the family room. He eventually was persuaded to come back and eat his omelet. I think he objected to the pumpkin which had been spread on the omelets for fiber. (Marvin has an anal gland issue.)

Gidgett is my picky princess. She had the most to say about my omelets. She took one look at hers. I urged her to dig in. She looked at me in horror and promptly threw up not once, but twice.

More practice needed perhaps?