Of course the new homeland security regulations added an interesting note. Before they would even let me in the door, I had to show them my passport to prove I was an US citizen, my original social security card to prove I could still find it, my marriage license to prove I did not change my name, my car registration AND my latest utility bill to prove I lived where I said I did.
Once inside I was back in line. This time I was waiting in line to get a number so I could have a seat while I waited in line. At last it was my turn at the counter. This time when I handed over my documentation, they scanned it into the computer system for transmittal to Tallahassee. Now for the eye test.
"Look into the black box and read line 5."
"It is completely black."
"Read line 5."
"I do not think it is on."
"Read line 5."
"I can not see anything."
"Read line 5."
"Are you sure the machine is working? I do not see anything."
"Read line 5."
When I do not answer and he notices I am no longer looking into the machine, he finally stands up and looks at the machine.
"Someone turned it off. Try again. Read line 5."
"I only see four lines."
"Read line 5."
"There is not a line 5."
"Read line 5."
"Would line five have a number in front of it like lines one through four?"
"Read line 5."
"I do not think the machine is working. I can see only four lines."
"Read line 5."
"There are only four lines."
"Read line 5."
"It is broken. Can I read one of the other lines?"
"Read line 5."
"It stops at line four."
With a heavy sigh and a very put out expression, he finally gets up and once again does something to the machine.
"Read line 5."
"Now there are seven lines and line five says...."
"You know I almost failed you because you could not read line 5."
At this point I bite the end of my tongue off since I still do not have my license renewed.
"Step back against the wall, look at the little lens, I will count to three, the light will flash, and it will take your picture. One, two, three. I will try again. One, two, [flash]
"Take your glasses off and step back again. You can not wear your glasses for this. I will count to three, the light will flash, and it will take your picture. One, two, [flash]
"Sign the line on the signature pad."
What line, I think as I look at a signature pad which is so scratched I can not see anything. Oh well, I am not asking. I sign where it is the most scratched.
Taking out my checkbook, I ask to whom I should make the check. The clerk glares at me, growls "DL" and points angrily to a small post it not on my side of his computer monitor which says "DL". No where does it say "Make payment or check to". I hand him my check. He gives me back my documents and tells me to sit back down.
While I am sitting there, they print one lady's license no less than five times before it is correct.
The poor guy taking the written test has his computer freeze in the middle of his test. They can not get it to work. Of course they treat him as if it is his fault. Finally they bring him a paper test. He gets to take the entire thing again.
The computer which keeps track of who is next in line, goes down. It is based in Tallahassee. No one can figure out who is next in line or who is waiting on whom.
Two people who were in line after I was get their licenses.
"Mz. Teemptom?"
"Yes?"
"Did you get your license yet?"
"No. We had one print which was completely blank. That must have been yours. We will print a new one."
"OK."
Success! At last I have my license renewed!
My next stop is to get my car registration renewed. It was a much easier process but the funny thing about our government was the verification process there. Remember how I showed the driver's license agency my car registration to prove I lived at my house? I had to show the car registration people my driver's license to prove the same thing. Make any sense? Oh well, at least I am legal for another two years.
