Moving Hoses

Having just came home from work I head out into the backyard to water the garden. I start by watering the blueberry bushes. The first two bushes are doing well. On to the third bush which has a long black hose stored on the ground next to it. I know I am losing my vision but usually hoses which are not being used do not move.

Gidgett comes over to investigate. Has Gidgett found yet another toad? Wait! Toads are not long and black. I gather all the dogs and take them into the house. I block off the doggie door. I get a pair of sharp snips. On my way back out through the garage I also pick up my new pair of gardening gloves.

Now that I am armed I have a little talk with the large black snake which is tangled in the bird netting protecting my blueberry bush. I promise not hurt him if he promises to be a gentleman. He is very calm and cooperative as I begin cutting the worst of the tangled netting off of him. I make sure to cut the portions which look the most painful first. When everything is a bit looser, I start on the tail end, freeing him as I move towards his head. Thankfully he stays very calm and does not struggle or attempt to free his head from my hand as I cut more netting off of him. Once he is free it is time for a couple more pictures.

We let him go near the woodpile where we saw a rat recently and which is far from the netting which I secure so it is no longer laying on the ground. The dogs are released and the garden is watered.

A week later Jeff tells me I caught him again and that I should rush out because the snake is cold and somnolent. It is not the same netting or the same snake. I do not know what Jeff was thinking. This is a smaller, younger snake which is caught in the peach tree’s netting which the storm has blown off. This snake is very aggressive. With a week of temperatures in the high 80’s, this snake is neither cold nor asleep. It is not as tangled up as the previous one nor is it cooperative. It is in fact able to strike quite a long distance.

To add to the fun, it is raining so I am contemplating holding an umbrella while I try to free a very aggressive snake that has a lot more room to maneuver. Joy! I gather my gloves and snips. Since the peaches are in the front yard, the dogs are not an issue. The snake repeatedly strikes at me as I contemplate how I am going to free it. Jeff comes out to assist with two canvas bank bags, his own gloves, and his own umbrella.

One thing to note about now is the size of the umbrellas. They both have 62” diameters so Jeff and I cannot even get very close to each other. They also, we soon learned, have magnets in their ribs which attract and hold bird netting.

Jeff, the snake, and I begin to dance.

Jeff goes into the house to get a “snake catch pole”. Hmm. I never knew we had one of those. He soon returns with an old mop stick missing the mop head but still having the wire which held the mop on it. He bends the wire.

After several minutes I am afraid for the snake. It is going to break a tooth on the pole or the wire. Jeff has yet to come close to catching it. I send Jeff back in the house to trade the mop stick for a rubber ended push broom.

Jeff once again attempts to pin the snake down. It is a very fast snake. It is a very thin snake. Jeff is trying very hard to pin it down with hurting it which means he is really ticking it off but not slowing it down at all.

By this time we are both getting frustrated. The suggestions on both sides are coming a bit faster and with more heat. It turns out Jeff is afraid of hurting the snake which is trying it’s best to bite us. I remind him of how easily snakes can thread their bodies into small spaces. Finally he pins it down.

Of course he is holding the broom so I am told to pick up a bag and contain the snake. How I am supposed to put it in a bag and keep it out where I can cut it free??? I drop my umbrella. I pick up one of the bags approaching the pinned snake. I turn the bag inside out and very carefully take hold of the snake’s neck.

Hmm. I need both hands to cut him free. After some discussion Jeff sets the broom down and I carefully transfer control to Jeff. I begin cutting the snake free.

Almost all of the snake is free when Jeff says “He is slipping out of the bag.” Keep in mind Jeff is standing above and behind me. I am sitting on the grass surrounded by netting. I have no where to go and I am about to have an angry snake in my lap. Very quickly we rearrange ourselves. We finish just in time as the snake slips free of the bag.

Back to the pinning, bagging, and snipping. Finally he is free from the netting. We release the bag while simultaneously jumping back. The snake does not move. We toss acorns at it. I move the netting. We toss a small branch near it. Jeff waves the broom. Now it is a calm snake. A couple of pictures and a broom poke and it finally slithers into the bushes.

We secure the netting and head into the house.