Susan and the Furrykids

Poodles are Real Dogs

2011-10-07T15:10:00.000-04:00

It's early morning. We are rushing to get into work for an early meeting. I am in the shower. I start to shampoo my hair. "What is that smell?" I ask as I peer nearsightedly at the shower floor.

Jeff walks in. "What?"
"Do you smell that?"
"What?" (I told you it was early.)
"Do you smell something awful?"
"Did you step in poop?" he asks.

How, I wonder, can I have stepped in poop halfway through my shower? It is not like I smelled this when I first got in the shower. I know I did not do this myself, so how would I have gotten poop in the shower. Regardless, I dutifully peer at the floor again.

"How would poop get in the shower? There's no poop in here. Don't you smell that?"
"All I smell are flowers." (My shampoo I hope.)
"Close the door! One of the dogs must have a cling-on."
"Huh?"
"Close the door! Don't let Chester out! Close the door!" I begin to shriek.

Jeff walks out of the bathroom preceded by both Chester and Marvin. Argh! Now I will have to chase them down when I finish my shower. Gidgett as befits a princess has not moved from her spot on the bathroom rug. Gidgett never gets cling-ons.

"Do they have cling-ons?"
"I didn't look." Jeff replies.
Husbands are useless I think as I shout "Look at them. Smell their butts. It stinks in here."
No answer.
"Did you figure out which one it is?"
"I didn't look at them."
"Smell them."
"I am getting dressed."

Wonderful, I think. They are running all over with heaven only knows what on them and I am going to have to clean them and it up. I grab a towel. I dry off. The bathroom still reeks.

As start out past Gidgett I glance down at her. My perfect princess has poop down the side of her face, in her long flowing ears, and ground into her shoulders. I gag as I pick her up, toss on a robe, and stumble out to the dog wash sink.

All I can think as I scrub Gidgett down is how people people think poodles are fou-fou dogs. Nope! Even poodle princesses like to roll in poop.

Ice Cream Disaster

2011-07-25T17:08:00.000-04:00

How many people know that two quarts of strawberry ice cream when dropped straight down from about a four foot height will not only make a large mess on the floor, but will also cover the ceiling, walls, etc. with pink goo? It is truly impressive!

Jeff will never again attempt to transfer the chilled ice cream from the refrigerator to the ice cream churn.

Border Collies

2011-06-03T15:13:00.000-04:00

Only a border collie could be this obsessed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8DiOthAKek

Teleporting Poodles

2011-04-11T11:21:00.000-04:00

This weekend Gidgett and Marvin showed off their skills at teleporting. We went to a friend's house. She happens to have a dog which out weighs me. When she let him in, two of the poos disappeared. If they had not a trail of a leashes leading to them, I would not have know where they had gone. It was amazing. I did not know they could fit under the couch, let alone scoot backywards to get there so fast that no one saw them move. :-)

Gidgett

2011-03-17T09:32:00.001-04:00

Gidgett made the paper! While it is not for a good thing, hopefully the article helps some else and Gidgett is fine now.

http://www.gainesville.com/article/20110316/ARTICLES/110319539

Cooking Comment

2011-02-27T10:27:00.003-05:00

I do not eat eggs which are not well hidden in a cake. Hence I do not cook them very often. Recently I have been practicing my cooking skills with eggs. The poo pack is generally the recipients of the fruits of my labors. What does it say about how far I have come, when this morning I placed what I thought were nice omelets in front of each of the dogs with the following results:

Marvin dug in. Marvin will eat most anything.

Chester ran into the family room. He eventually was persuaded to come back and eat his omelet. I think he objected to the pumpkin which had been spread on the omelets for fiber. (Marvin has an anal gland issue.)

Gidgett is my picky princess. She had the most to say about my omelets. She took one look at hers. I urged her to dig in. She looked at me in horror and promptly threw up not once, but twice.

More practice needed perhaps?

Pool

2010-12-28T15:26:00.003-05:00

We have a pool! We can swim. The poodles are not sure how they feel about us disappearing up behind the wall they can not climb. They know they do not want to be tossed or fall into the water they see when we set them on the wall.

Marvin freezes in terror when he is on the wall, on the cover, or floating on the Styrofoam we used as a temporary cover. He then gingerly sits down and waits for someone to save him.

Gidgett waits to be told what she should do next. She is obviously hoping to not get wet and would much rather be on the ground.

Chester is a different case. He obviously is unsure of the water. The Styrofoam was not too scary as long as you could race to the coping. The floating cover is completely different. It is made to run like a mad dog around as fast as you can go. Even better is to race around just out of reach when you know people are trying to catch you.

Watching him race joyfully around you can not help but smile.

New Sod

2010-09-21T14:09:00.004-04:00

If you ever have a choice in the matter, may I suggest you do not have new sod installed just before your spouse leaves for a business trip. This is especially not wise if you do not have a sprinkler system but will instead spend half of every evening dragging hoses around as you keep thinking - this is improved water pressure??? What water pressure? Of course the sprinklers will have plenty of pressure when they trap you in a corner with no way back in the house which your new HVAC system has turned into a refrigerator (wet clothes are chilly).

Then there are the dogs. It seems my water-phobic poodles have decided it is fun to play in the sprinklers with mom. Even better is playing in the sprinklers and then digging for toads in the area around the replanted bushes. Water, dirt, toads - What more could ask for? Oh yes! Sharing! It is of course best when you share your mud by jumping into Mom's lap as soon as she sits down for a minute between hose drags.

Technology

2010-08-24T09:43:00.003-04:00

This morning the painter asked me if I had heard him talking with the foreman yesterday. He said he was just joking around. It seems he had made comments about robbing banks to our "microphone".

He had been talking to the probe on our outdoor thermometer.

Renewing Driver's License

2010-07-12T17:10:00.006-04:00

For anyone who is curious, Monday is NOT a good day to make an appointment at the Florida Driver's License offices. It was not a good sign when I turned into their driveway and saw the line was out the door, down the side walk, and halfway across the parking lot. I really did not feel comfortable as I was circling the parking lot searching and contemplating having to park illegally while applying for a new license. After quite a bit of searching things were looking up slightly when I finally found the last legal parking space.

Of course the new homeland security regulations added an interesting note. Before they would even let me in the door, I had to show them my passport to prove I was an US citizen, my original social security card to prove I could still find it, my marriage license to prove I did not change my name, my car registration AND my latest utility bill to prove I lived where I said I did.

Once inside I was back in line. This time I was waiting in line to get a number so I could have a seat while I waited in line. At last it was my turn at the counter. This time when I handed over my documentation, they scanned it into the computer system for transmittal to Tallahassee. Now for the eye test.

"Look into the black box and read line 5."
"It is completely black."
"Read line 5."
"I do not think it is on."
"Read line 5."
"I can not see anything."
"Read line 5."
"Are you sure the machine is working? I do not see anything."
"Read line 5."

When I do not answer and he notices I am no longer looking into the machine, he finally stands up and looks at the machine.

"Someone turned it off. Try again. Read line 5."
"I only see four lines."
"Read line 5."
"There is not a line 5."
"Read line 5."
"Would line five have a number in front of it like lines one through four?"
"Read line 5."
"I do not think the machine is working. I can see only four lines."
"Read line 5."
"There are only four lines."
"Read line 5."
"It is broken. Can I read one of the other lines?"
"Read line 5."
"It stops at line four."

With a heavy sigh and a very put out expression, he finally gets up and once again does something to the machine.

"Read line 5."
"Now there are seven lines and line five says...."
"You know I almost failed you because you could not read line 5."

At this point I bite the end of my tongue off since I still do not have my license renewed.

"Step back against the wall, look at the little lens, I will count to three, the light will flash, and it will take your picture. One, two, three. I will try again. One, two, [flash], three. "

"Take your glasses off and step back again. You can not wear your glasses for this. I will count to three, the light will flash, and it will take your picture. One, two, [flash] , three. "

"Sign the line on the signature pad."

What line, I think as I look at a signature pad which is so scratched I can not see anything. Oh well, I am not asking. I sign where it is the most scratched.

Taking out my checkbook, I ask to whom I should make the check. The clerk glares at me, growls "DL" and points angrily to a small post it not on my side of his computer monitor which says "DL". No where does it say "Make payment or check to". I hand him my check. He gives me back my documents and tells me to sit back down.

While I am sitting there, they print one lady's license no less than five times before it is correct.

The poor guy taking the written test has his computer freeze in the middle of his test. They can not get it to work. Of course they treat him as if it is his fault. Finally they bring him a paper test. He gets to take the entire thing again.

The computer which keeps track of who is next in line, goes down. It is based in Tallahassee. No one can figure out who is next in line or who is waiting on whom.

Two people who were in line after I was get their licenses.

"Mz. Teemptom?"
"Yes?"
"Did you get your license yet?"
"No. We had one print which was completely blank. That must have been yours. We will print a new one."
"OK."

Success! At last I have my license renewed!

My next stop is to get my car registration renewed. It was a much easier process but the funny thing about our government was the verification process there. Remember how I showed the driver's license agency my car registration to prove I lived at my house? I had to show the car registration people my driver's license to prove the same thing. Make any sense? Oh well, at least I am legal for another two years.

New Remodel Photo Location

2010-07-07T22:57:00.003-04:00

OK. I moved the pictures of the remodel due to Flickr's limit of 200 pictures. I was having to delete to add pictures. Tom suggested Picasso so they are now there ( http://picasaweb.google.com/106823171847664989306?feat=email ). I think I have moved all of the previous pictures and added all but those taken this evening.

Ooops!

2010-06-23T10:24:00.007-04:00

Bit of a misstep with the dog door. It looked like it was installed sideways. Thankfully it seems that pulling down a wall before the mortar sets is not a big deal. To me it appeared to be a daunting task but the masons completed it in no time and the dog door opening was soon changed from 13 by 10 to be 13 by 18. Amazing!

Remodeling Pictures

2010-06-08T15:27:00.002-04:00

Several people have inquired about pictures of the remodel as it progresses. I have loaded them into Flickr.

They can be viewed at http://www.flickr.com/photos/45645965@N03/sets/ (or simply click on the title for this post).

Creatures of Habit

2010-06-04T17:05:00.004-04:00

While I always knew dogs were creatures of habit, I did not realize how much they were creatures of habit until the porch was being removed. The screens, kick panels, and door were removed first leaving the roof, foundation, corner supports, and for no apparent reason the dog door with it's flap.

We took the kids out to potty. You guessed it they ran out, took a hard left and ran through the dog door rather than going straight out into the yard or even through the open doorway. Business completed all three of them ran back to the dog door politely waiting as the dog in front of them went through the door until everyone was back on the porch.

Hmmm. I wondered. With them watching me I walked through the now non-existent east wall. I called them. Yep, all three of them did an about face, ran through the dog door, out into the yard, and around to where I was standing.

Exterior Remodel Begins

2010-06-02T14:47:00.003-04:00

We have officially started. Boy do things move fast. Yesterday the contractor was taking soil samples and walking subcontractors around the house. This morning except for some disturbed dirt everything was normal when we left for work.

When we came home at lunch, it was not so normal. A large construction dumpster was taking up two thirds of the driveway. Our screened-in porch (10x15) was missing. A green port-a-potty sat in our new neighbor's front yard. Ooops!

What a difference a few hours away from home makes.

On the not so good part, we have learned that our dogs are used to being able to go when they feel the need. We learned this last week, hence the quick trip home for lunch. It is either a quick bite at home or a slow mop later in the day. Oh well. This is why we have ceramic tile. :-)

Doggie Fun Day

2010-05-05T17:07:00.004-04:00

There was an expo last weekend for pets at a nearby rehabilitation facility so we packed up the poo pack and headed off. The temperature was in the mid 90's. We headed for the doggie swimming which turned out to be a lane designed to exercise race horses via swimming.

There were a number of life preservers available for large dogs, a few for tiny dogs (I swear one of them was small enough to fit on a guinea pig), and only one for small dogs. I put it on Gidgett. I was concerned about the straps but the ladies who were working at the pool, said they would be fine.

Gidgett was less than enthusiastic about entering the water on her own. Jeff took her to the deeper area on one side of the lane while I walked around to the other side. He gently lowered her into the water.

Gidgett immediately started swimming across to me. Gidgett had just about reached the middle of the lane when she caught one of her front legs in the front straps of the life preserver. Almost immediately she caught the second front leg. Now Gidgett was in the center of the lane unable to move her legs with the life preserver actually pushing her down. The pool's staff did not even move when Jeff told them what was happening. They could not believe a dog could have problems while wearing one of their life preservers.

The look on her face was the most scared and yet the most calm and trusting I have ever seen. She knew there was nothing she could do. She just calmly waited for me to help her. As I saw her muzzle dip towards the water, I jumped in. I held her out of the water while I waded out of the pool. My Gidgett was safe and none of my dogs would be going back in the pool with that life preserver again.

On a more cheerful note all of the dogs participated in lure coursing while we were there. As usual they loved it. Marvin impressed the big dog people with his speed and desire to catch the lure. His drive is similar to a sighthound's when he runs.

Moving Hoses

2010-05-05T16:37:00.010-04:00

Having just came home from work I head out into the backyard to water the garden. I start by watering the blueberry bushes. The first two bushes are doing well. On to the third bush which has a long black hose stored on the ground next to it. I know I am losing my vision but usually hoses which are not being used do not move.

Gidgett comes over to investigate. Has Gidgett found yet another toad? Wait! Toads are not long and black. I gather all the dogs and take them into the house. I block off the doggie door. I get a pair of sharp snips. On my way back out through the garage I also pick up my new pair of gardening gloves.

Now that I am armed I have a little talk with the large black snake which is tangled in the bird netting protecting my blueberry bush. I promise not hurt him if he promises to be a gentleman. He is very calm and cooperative as I begin cutting the worst of the tangled netting off of him. I make sure to cut the portions which look the most painful first. When everything is a bit looser, I start on the tail end, freeing him as I move towards his head. Thankfully he stays very calm and does not struggle or attempt to free his head from my hand as I cut more netting off of him. Once he is free it is time for a couple more pictures.

We let him go near the woodpile where we saw a rat recently and which is far from the netting which I secure so it is no longer laying on the ground. The dogs are released and the garden is watered.

A week later Jeff tells me I caught him again and that I should rush out because the snake is cold and somnolent. It is not the same netting or the same snake. I do not know what Jeff was thinking. This is a smaller, younger snake which is caught in the peach tree’s netting which the storm has blown off. This snake is very aggressive. With a week of temperatures in the high 80’s, this snake is neither cold nor asleep. It is not as tangled up as the previous one nor is it cooperative. It is in fact able to strike quite a long distance.

To add to the fun, it is raining so I am contemplating holding an umbrella while I try to free a very aggressive snake that has a lot more room to maneuver. Joy! I gather my gloves and snips. Since the peaches are in the front yard, the dogs are not an issue. The snake repeatedly strikes at me as I contemplate how I am going to free it. Jeff comes out to assist with two canvas bank bags, his own gloves, and his own umbrella.

One thing to note about now is the size of the umbrellas. They both have 62” diameters so Jeff and I cannot even get very close to each other. They also, we soon learned, have magnets in their ribs which attract and hold bird netting.

Jeff, the snake, and I begin to dance.

Jeff goes into the house to get a “snake catch pole”. Hmm. I never knew we had one of those. He soon returns with an old mop stick missing the mop head but still having the wire which held the mop on it. He bends the wire.

After several minutes I am afraid for the snake. It is going to break a tooth on the pole or the wire. Jeff has yet to come close to catching it. I send Jeff back in the house to trade the mop stick for a rubber ended push broom.

Jeff once again attempts to pin the snake down. It is a very fast snake. It is a very thin snake. Jeff is trying very hard to pin it down with hurting it which means he is really ticking it off but not slowing it down at all.

By this time we are both getting frustrated. The suggestions on both sides are coming a bit faster and with more heat. It turns out Jeff is afraid of hurting the snake which is trying it’s best to bite us. I remind him of how easily snakes can thread their bodies into small spaces. Finally he pins it down.

Of course he is holding the broom so I am told to pick up a bag and contain the snake. How I am supposed to put it in a bag and keep it out where I can cut it free??? I drop my umbrella. I pick up one of the bags approaching the pinned snake. I turn the bag inside out and very carefully take hold of the snake’s neck.

Hmm. I need both hands to cut him free. After some discussion Jeff sets the broom down and I carefully transfer control to Jeff. I begin cutting the snake free.

Almost all of the snake is free when Jeff says “He is slipping out of the bag.” Keep in mind Jeff is standing above and behind me. I am sitting on the grass surrounded by netting. I have no where to go and I am about to have an angry snake in my lap. Very quickly we rearrange ourselves. We finish just in time as the snake slips free of the bag.

Back to the pinning, bagging, and snipping. Finally he is free from the netting. We release the bag while simultaneously jumping back. The snake does not move. We toss acorns at it. I move the netting. We toss a small branch near it. Jeff waves the broom. Now it is a calm snake. A couple of pictures and a broom poke and it finally slithers into the bushes.

We secure the netting and head into the house.

Plant Puppy Mills

2010-04-21T17:31:00.003-04:00

As I was contemplating the fact that the only heirloom tomato plants which did not reliably product seeds for me were ones I had purchased at big box stores, I came to a realization. The problems I had stemmed from the fact that the big box stores, like the chain pet stores, purchased their plants from huge factory farms. These plants were not the lovingly grown plants found at local nurseries, farmer's markets, and friends. These plants were grown and shipped in mass. Now it made sense why a friend of mine who works for the state pest control department frequently warns me away from the big box plants.

They were selling puppy mill plants.

Since I would never consider purchasing a puppy mill animal (I have enough rescues and fosters to know the issues), I have made a new resolution to not buy puppy mill plants in the future as well.

Adventures in Composting

2010-04-13T21:29:00.002-04:00

For years we have composted. I have seen the oddest bugs in the bins. Never has the compost moved. This Sunday as we were emptying the bins to use the finished compost in my raised bed. As I was pushing the compost which was slipping off of the main pile back into the middle of the pile for Jeff to shovel it into the wheelbarrow, the pile started to move.

I asked Jeff if he saw the movement. He had not. It moved again. As I was mentioning this phenomenon for the second time the middle of the pile erupted and a grey rat appeared. This was not one of my old pet rats. This was a wild rat which of course immediately ran.

Who did it run at? Jeff? Of course not. It ran in my direction. I screamed. This of course brought the dogs at a run. With an instant circle of it's natural enemies, the rat immediately ran for the nearest climbable object. My leg! This time my scream was accompanied by a dance. The dogs having seen me dance before retreated. This left a clear path for the rat to the wood pile.

Gidgett, my prissy, gorgeous, show girl, spent the rest of the day circling the wood pile. She may look like she is not a real dog but she becomes a Jack Russell when she sees or smells a rat.

What a day.

Side note: There were four more rats in the pile.

New Addition - Pippin

2010-04-10T22:01:00.004-04:00

We have a new family member. Pippin is a baby budgie. We are hoping he is a boy. His nasty temperament leads me to believe he may be a she. He is also the most timid budgie we have ever owned. Was Zippy this much of a 'fraidy-cat? I do not remember him being such a scared wimp but it has been several years. We can only hope Pippin improves with age.

Adventures in Felting Crochet

2009-10-22T13:56:00.015-04:00

Socks and hats are wardrobe items I have always loved. After watching several friends knit socks, I decided to try crocheting them. Very soon I had a collection of crocheted socks. Of course the next thing to try was hats. Crocheting makes a soft socking kind of hat, but if you felted it....

A pattern was purchased. 100% natural wool was purchased. I purchased both an undyed skein and two smaller blue skeins. In the course of two evenings I had quickly crocheted the undyed wool into something that resembled a large misshapen sack or as my husband said a mush-mouth hat.

Internet searches were made. Would this work? Would it really ever turn into a hat? Maybe. The search began for a form. It seems my head is roughly the same outer diameter as my small angel food cake pan. Shove a salad/dinner bowl up into it after removing the center cone to form the domed crown. Balance all of that on the center cone in a really large tupperware bowl to turn up the outside edge and I was ready! After one long hot agitation cycle in the washer I had a wet, heavy semi-hat shaped piece of felt. Rinse it in the sink, pop it over the form and let it dry. Days later I reread the directions. Ooops! I was correct in not putting in the dryer but I should have wrung it dry and rolled it in a towel before putting it on my form. Live and learn. When it finally dried the hat came out pretty well.

Now to work with the blue wool. Everything worked pretty much the same as the first time with a couple of exceptions. I remembered to take the before shot you see up above and I remembered to wring and towel roll the finished hat so it dried much faster.

Gainesville Rabbit Rescue

2009-10-09T11:15:00.000-04:00

If you get a chance and do not mind, vote for Gainesville Rabbit Rescue at http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/shelterchallenge.faces?siteId=3

They are currently number nine in the state and climbing. They are only trying for the $1000 state money not the top prize. Even a $1000 is a lot for them.

You can vote once per day on each type of browser you have installed (Firefox, Internet Explorer, Netscape, etc.). If you really like GRR (they are good folks), you can even ask friends to vote!

Both Bosley and Moe were from GRR.

Mashed Potatoes or Wallpaper Paste

2009-10-07T11:03:00.003-04:00

Never use your new immersion blender to mash potatoes. Even though it is fun and easy, it is not a good idea. Of course if you run out of wall paper glue I believe the resulting mixture will work. The look on Gidgett's face when she took her first bite said it all. You know the texture is lacking when even the dogs feel there is something wrong with dinner.

Pressure Cooking Spaghetti SauceTip

2009-10-05T10:33:00.003-04:00

When pressure cooking spaghetti sauce, absolutely do NOT add the tomato paste until you have completed pressure cooking the remaining ingredients. Tomato paste which is scorched onto the bottom of your pressure cooker requires considerable scrubbing to remove.

Dehydrating Cheddar Cheese

2009-09-21T11:31:00.003-04:00

Just in case it ever comes up for you, if you decide to dehydrate cheddar cheese, use low fat cheese. Regular cheddar is very greasy when you dehydrate it. Without experience I do not know for sure, but my guess would be that the same is true for non-cheddar cheeses.

Cable Trials

2009-09-10T18:02:00.000-04:00

Our cable recently started having issues. Being lazy and not being extremely bothered by it since it was only affecting a few channels, we ignored the problem. Then one long holiday weekend we actually wanted to watch a show on one of the problem channels. It was like watching a broadcast show from 20 years ago. We called the cable company.

First there was the automated system. I entered in all of our information including the main problem which was snow due to a poor signal on all of our televisions. The extremely long wait for a person began. At last, a technician who proceeded to ask me the exact same questions the computer had asked. Upon being told we were experiencing a signal problem on ALL of our televisions, he told me to check the cable connection on one of them. He was not pleased when I questioned him.

Eventually an appointment was made for a technician to come to the house. He arrived relatively on time. I explained (you would think they would read their own notes) how all of our televisions were experiencing a signal problem in one particular channel range.

After demonstrating the problem on our family room television, he determined it must be a loose connection to that TV. He changed out the splitter for that set. I restated that more than one TV had the problem and again was asked to check the picture on the family room TV where he was working. It must be the cable connector which he promptly changed out. Again I mentioned that all of the TV’s had the same problem.

A gleam came into his eye. “All of your TV’s have the same problem? “

“Yes.” Off we went to the bedroom to see that yes that TV too had a bad signal (in fact it was worse than the newer television in the family room). Back to the family room where he checked the cable again.

Finally convinced he went outside. Fifteen minutes later and multiple trips back into the house to see if the picture was any better (he was probably changing those connectors and splitters); he knew what the problem was. We had a signal problem. The solution would be to change out our drop.
The drop it seems is the run of cable from the easement cable box to your house. OK. No problem. The main cable box is located at the northwest end of our lot. The cable comes into our house at the northwest corner next to the gas meter.

Problem. The cable man says legally it has to come in by the meter. Not the gas meter but the electric meter. Why they ran it this way when the house was built, who knows? The electric meter is at the southeast corner of our house. To get to it the cable will have to cross under our chain link fence, under my herb garden, under our invisible fence, across the entire backyard on a diagonal, under the phone line, under the invisible fence, under the chain link fence, under the crown of thorns hedge (good luck with that), and down the side of the house next to the invisible fence and phone line runs to the electric meter. Who wants to make a bet what they will cut or kill?

It gets better. The cable guy cannot run cable through my attic. Therefore he will run a cable from my new cable line next to the electric meter on the southeast end of my house around the house (passing under chain link fences, invisible fences, and other utilities again) back to the connection at the northwest corner by the gas meter. Even though I told him the attic run goes from the northwest outside corner through the attic to the center of the east wall (very near the new box) where the last cable guy dropped the connection down into the master closet.

At the end of all of this my house will be wrapped in coax cable. My plants will be dug up. My cat will be roaming the neighborhood after they cut her fence line and I will not even have a phone line with to call and complain.

Kitchen Volcano

2009-08-10T10:35:00.001-04:00

Learning to can has been such fun. Saturday I tried canning a jelly with a wine base. The recipe called for a large saucepan. Since I was trying to make as few huge dishes as possible for Jeff to clean up later, I chose my largest saucepan but not my huge stock pot. Bad mistake.

Everything (wine, sugar, spices) was at a nice rolling boil. I add the pectin. VOLCANO! Instantly there is hot syrup everywhere. The counter, the stove top, the front of the stove, the floor, everywhere. Everywhere includes under the burner which is still on high. Whoosh! Now the alcohol in the wine has ignited. Now it is all on fire.

I carefully grab the pot handle lifting it off the stove. While holding a pot of flames, I watch the flaming burner and call for Jeff. For once he actually heeds my call. In a very scornful voice he asks if the burner is off. Of course it is not. Until he arrived the floor and the pot I am holding were on fire so the burner was the last thing on my mind. He turns the burner off, turns, and tells me the floor is sticky and I should clean it up.

Good idea. However I need to get the jelly in the pot I am holding boiling again. I ask him to move the large canning pot off the burner. He says the metal handles are hot. I touch the one closest to me. It is cool. He grabs that handle and the far side handle which most recently was in the flames. Ooops. They were not both cool. He manages to not drop the canner which is filled with boiling water and glass jars as he lowers it to the floor.

The jelly is returned to the stove. Where are the dogs? I knew they were not in the way during the excitement but where have they gone? Enlightenment dawns. The smoke/fire alarm is going off. Gidgett has remembered her puppy lessons. She has run out the dog door and is waiting by the back gate. Good girl! Marvin is peering out the dog door wondering why Gidgett is by the fence. Hmmm. Have to work on training him.

Time to turn on the hood, turn off the smoke alarm, and retrieve Gidgett. Then what a sticky mess to clean up and finish canning.

Lesson learned - Use the stock pot when making jelly. It is less work to clean the giant pot than it is to clean the entire kitchen.